Terms of Service

By using [Your Store Name], you agree to these terms. And also to not holding us liable if your baby uses the transitional swaddle as a slingshot. (But if they do, please send us a video — we need the laugh.)

1. You must be a human.
If you’re a raccoon ordering bath toys, we’re impressed — but please pay with real currency, not trash.

2. Product usage (the important stuff):

• • • Hooded towels: For drying babies, not for capes (though we support imagination).

    • Changing pad covers: For catching the unexpected. They’re waterproof-ish. Not bulletproof. Don’t test that.

    • Bibs: For food. Not for abstract art projects. But again — no judgment.

    • Bath toys: For water. Not for the microwave. Please don’t microwave the duck.

    • Transitional swaddles: For sleep. Not for baby bungee jumping. The arm zippers are for easy access, not for escape artistry (though they will try).

3. Pricing:
We try to be accurate. If we mess up a price, we’ll cancel the order and let you know. You can reorder or send us a crying-laughing emoji. Both are acceptable.

4. Your account:
Don’t share your password. Not even with your partner. We love them, but they might accidentally order 10 duck toys.

5. Copyright:
Our photos, copy, and jokes are ours. Please don’t steal them. We worked hard during midnight feedings.

6. Liability:
We make safe, tested gear. But if your baby decides to use a bath toy as a teether and it squeaks aggressively — that’s on you. Supervise your tiny human.

7. Updates:
We may change these terms. We’ll post it here. No, we won’t email you — you have 1,247 unread emails already.

8. Governing law:
Laws of [Your State], USA. If we have a dispute, let’s settle it over coffee. Lawyers are expensive and we’d rather spend that money on more bath toys.

Click “buy” and you’re in. Now go wrestle that baby into the tub. You’ve got this.